


Becoming an Adult

by Megane



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Adolescent Sexuality, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Friendship, Growing Pains, Growing Up, Intimacy, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Passage of time, Sentimental, Sex, Somewhat Romatic, Subtle flirting, Teenagers, Wistful, playfulness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6731446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megane/pseuds/Megane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You do this much? Come up here and light up fireworks..?” Chrollo asked, their voice curious.</p><p>Hisoka's smile lacked its usual emotion. Chrollo hadn't noticed. “Not anymore. Used to when I was younger.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Scheduling. You become an adult and scheduling becomes an issue.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Becoming an Adult

**Author's Note:**

> Companion piece/intercutting fic to [Catherine Wheel](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6218482). Shout out to my "Uncle Hisoka" & Illu as well as [terminallydeprived](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Terminallydepraved/pseuds/Terminallydepraved) for that continuous support.

Hisoka didn't mean to drift off when Chrollo started playing around with the sparklers. It just happened. He ran his fingers through his hair and stared at the ground.

He remembered his brightly lit youth. Sunlight through the canopies of trees, sunsets spent on natural outcrops, and kissing in the cover of night. Many innocent relationships filled with friendships gone too fast. He had a friend – someone he was happy to call his 'best friend' – and they were together for years.

Illumi Zoldyck. He was a progeny from a long line of intimidating and successful people. His material wealth mattered little to Hisoka, though it made for amusing fodder. Illumi wasn't social, but he had a great sense of self and was strangely loyal in his own way. Illumi's parents had a flip-flopping opinion about Hisoka, but Illumi himself always ended up hanging out with him. Sometimes he dismissed his actions as having nothing better to do or just accidentally running into Hisoka. But Hisoka knew the truth.

Text messages sent in the morning and ones sent at night right before he went to sleep.

Extended but comfortable silences on the phone and in person.

Play fighting and free running in the park.

Hisoka knew that Illumi saw him as a friend too.

Illumi would sometimes sneak out with Hisoka and go to his house. One particular night bonded them closer together.

          “Are you sure you don't want to get any closer?” Hisoka asked as he sat next to Illumi atop a parked car.

          “No. This is fine.”

          Hisoka glanced over to his friend and looked away with a smile. “Okay then~”

They could hear laughter from where they sat. Cars were parked in an empty plot of land. Across from them was an abandoned plaza; behind that but still some distance away was a small mountain where the festivities were. Hisoka shifted himself eagerly, ready for the fireworks to go off. Illumi was stock still at his side, sitting in exactly the same position as him – legs criss crossed and hands overlapped at his ankles.

The silence was punctuated by distant sounds of merriment, but Hisoka didn't feel tense. He learned long ago that this was simply how Illumi was. Quiet, almost to the point of being invisible. It was disarming, nice. Hisoka smiled to himself but then perked up as the fireworks began.

The display this year was extraordinary. Fireworks exploded in spirals and twists. There were nested fireworks that went off with various delays. Some formed shapes of recognisable figures. Hisoka leaned back and let his awe be known with small noises and comments. He turned his head towards Illumi, who still sat frozen in place. He looked as if he hadn't blinked once. He was a perfect statue.

Hisoka huffed a laugh before looking skyward again. Just when he relaxed and focused on the show again, Illumi slid into his view and kissed him.

There were still fireworks from that moment on – special little moments that broke up the dull flow of life. But even with the fireworks, Illumi became harder to keep around after a while. At first, he insisted that it was merely “work” and then it became his father and grandfather were expecting things of him. Hisoka still snuck around whenever he could, and Illumi would pull himself away here and there. After a time, Hisoka began donating his time to other things that caught his interest. He picked up dancing as a hobby and started to develop a style of his own. For a while, there were times when they just didn't see each other.

But whenever they could, the tension was back. The strange, unfamiliar feeling Hisoka hadn't known since they were children. It was snuck in like a thief in the night, but he could feel it still. It was a bit uncomfortable and filled him with concern. He pushed it away – or at least tried. Out on the cliffs, Hisoka felt the words spill out of his mouth.

          “I think I've gotten my schedule cleared up finally,” he said with a smile on his face. He stretched his arms out in front of him. “Think we can hang out on Friday?”

          Illumi, squatting but still looking perfectly statuesque, stared down at the ground. “I can't. My father wants me to start working soon.”

          Hisoka let the silence file in, but it stayed only for a second. “What does your father do anyway?”

          Illumi flicked a rock over the edge of the cliff and turned his head away. “You know I can't tell you that.”

          Hisoka touched his lips together and stared straight ahead. “… Right.”

          “But I can see you tonight. I should be able to get away next week as well.”

          A laugh. “Ah! You should consider being an actor. You know how to leave someone in suspense.”

          Illumi stood gracefully and looked to Hisoka. “I've no interest in that. Let's get something to eat.”

          “Okay~ Promise me you'll pay.”

          “No.”

          Hisoka smiled and wrapped an arm around Illumi's waist. “How mean of you.”

The tense eased. In fact, the tension was suddenly gone when night fell, and it left Hisoka feeling a bit anxious. It came and went just as suddenly and left a dreadful feeling in its wake. He and Illumi exchanged text messages, but they all went by in a blur. He sat on the edge of his bed, staring out the window towards the city skyline. He didn't hear Illumi come in, but he felt the other man slinking up at his side.

It was pitch black. Illumi offered to turn on the light; Hisoka said no. He reached up and crawled his fingers across Illumi's lower back. Illumi stepped closer and gently rested a hand on Hisoka's shoulder. Hisoka held him and stared up with hooded eyes.

 _You're leaving me, aren't you?_ He wanted to ask, but the words wouldn't form themselves. They twisted over and over again in his mind, but nothing came out of his mouth. He just knew. He felt it in his heart. Illumi would be working, away with family, but he would be safe. Guess that was all he could ask for. The mystery of it all intrigued him, but it was a solid wall between them. Hisoka could only hope it didn't last forever.

Illumi sank down to the bed. The light from the outside cut his face out of the sharp shadows. Hisoka smiled. Here Illumi was, a grown man but he was still so young in the face. Doll-like. It was because of those eyes. Those dark depths that always dragged Hisoka in. “Sorry, I just get lost in your eyes” was always a line Hisoka jokingly pulled on his friend, but it was true.

It was always true.

Their clothes were piled on the floor. They kissed hotly; Illumi's hands ran over Hisoka's biceps before slipping over to run down his ribs to his waist. At first, Illumi sighed into Hisoka's mouth. Eventually, a moan was dragged out followed by one more and then another.

Their bodies rocked desperately against each other. Hisoka spread Illumi open with one hand; his other hand prepared. Fingers slick with lube and sweat thrust into Illumi; they pressed in areas that made Illumi tighten and shake. It was a beautiful sight. Even when Illumi moaned like this, it was still low, reserved.

But he always came undone when he was filled, when Hisoka stretched him just right. There were other ways to draw out Illumi's moans and almost inaudible keens, and they were just as satisfying. Hisoka reached out and took one of Illumi's hands. His other held onto the back of Illumi's neck.

This particular Zoldyck was a fine specimen. Sex for him was inconsequential, just as many other things were, but when he did it, he committed to it. His eyes weren't just never-ending pits black. Hisoka could see a fire in them. Illumi's mask-like expression cracked, and he was so much more demure. He looked… almost shy. Hisoka always moved forward to kiss his neck, his cheeks, his lips in reverence. Illumi's name always escaped as a whisper, a moan.

Tonight, Hisoka's name was a pleasure ridden whimper followed by a gasp. Illumi reached his hands up and gripped Hisoka's shoulder. He worked himself down with well-timed rolls of his hips. His inner thighs shook whenever he sank down, but that whimper.

That call of Hisoka's name made him feel weak. If this was the beginning of good-bye, at least he had a pleasant souvenir to walk away with. He wrapped his arms around Illumi and moved onto his back. Illumi followed easily and spread his legs, better bracing himself on the bed.

The sheets were wrinkled beneath them. The bed wiggled and bounced with their movements. Sometimes, Hisoka could hear his mattress colliding with the wall, but it was a metronomic trance with Illumi's moans as the mantra.

Hisoka loved his friend; he wondered how deeply Illumi cared about him. It was a thought that came and went. For now, he would just focus on making them both feel good. Anything past that would have to wait for later.

Later came far after they did. It was after the sex; it was after the shower and the hours spent talking, hand in hand or side by side. It was after the pacing Hisoka did in the morning. It was after the joy of having Illumi all to himself that day and then for another night.

The night was chaste, but still “ _later_ ” came way after that. Six weeks had passed when "later" finally hit. It was the culmination of mutually missed calls, of rain cheques, and monotonous apologises.

Hisoka was standing in a parking lot with Chrollo right in front of him. Chrollo was playing around with a Rubik's cube. The cube was very subtle shades of white. Some of the paint had chipped from the many times Chrollo played around with it. Hisoka's hands were in his jacket pocket, and he lifted his head to stare over Chrollo to the background.

The abandoned shopping center with the mountain behind it. Hisoka tucked his chin and smiled at his friend. Another old friend from a childhood before Zoldycks and secrets and intimate goodbyes. Hisoka pulled his phone from his pocket. He hadn't gotten a call in three days. Or rather, not one had been from Illumi. Not in three days.

Not in two weeks.

Hisoka closed his eyes and said his good-byes. His “see you later”s. For now, Illumi was busy, and his schedule just wouldn't allow for anything else.

          “Hey,” Hisoka finally said when he opened his eyes and had a kind smile on his face. “How about we go out for lunch?”

          “You always get me right when I'm in the middle of something,” Chrollo joked. They brought the cube down and nodded their head. “Alright, but I'm choosing.”

          “Choose away.” Hisoka reached out a hand and wrapped his arm around Chrollo's shoulders.

They left the empty lot together. Hisoka didn't remember ever going back. He remembered so many things, but just not _that_. Maybe it was insignificant; maybe it was still important – but that could have been sentimentality talking.

But all of his memories soon came to a halt. They brought him back to this moment and gently deposited him right in front of Chrollo who was twisting the burning wool. After the item had dwindled and was doused, Hisoka picked up another piece of wire wool from the bag and followed Chrollo back to the safe-to-burn area. Chrollo stepped off to the side; Hisoka smiled and waved his friend closer. When they were pressed front to front, Hisoka burned the burgundy wool and twisted it above their heads.

Chrollo's gasp, their honest and earnest expression. Hisoka wondered what it would have been like to watch Chrollo learn and be captivated be the new things in their life. But ignorance and absence were the costs of growing up and growing apart.

Their eyes met, and Hisoka felt the need to thank them for being here, for being a part of a new memory that would steal him away in his busy days. He wanted to, but there was no reason to.

Their night was not yet over, and there would be plenty of time to thank them while they were still together.


End file.
